HO HO HO and 12 BOTTLES OF WINE...

I’ve been dreaming of a White Christmas, just like the ones I used to know, and for the first time since 1962 Mulhouse delivered!

On the 23^rd Amy and I celebrated PART 1 of the Alsace family extravaganza; a trip to Strasbourg to visit my mums cousin and the beautiful Christmas markets, all 12 of them. We explored the plethora of mulled wine and pretzel stores and enjoyed the Christmas decoration and hat stalls. My mum’s cousin, Guy, and his lovely wife, Annie, had invited Amy and I over for a Christmas lunch. It was a delicious meal, as always and I had a fantastic time catching up with them. We learnt fraternal (non-identical) twins in France are called ‘faux-jumeaux’, or ‘fake twins’!!

Back in Mulhouse we checked out the awesome Mulhouse Christmas markets and met up with my family that had come up to celebrate Christmas for PART 2 of the Alsace family extravaganza! Together we had a lovely meal of mushroom soup, 6 types of cheese, and of course, Fois Gras! Delish!! As Grandma no longer gets out of bed we all went to her room and sang Christmas carols for her, in English German Italian and Latin... Amy and I were pretty much singing LALALALA the whole time! Even though Grandma didn’t recognise 2/3 of the people in the room she thoroughly enjoyed it so it was definitely worth the embarrassment!

On Christmas eve we woke up to beautiful fresh POW! A sight that will never cease to make me happy! Lolo, Amy, the dogs and I made a gorgeous snow lady, Shatzela, and had snow fights while hard working napped. For Christmas dinner we were kindly invited to celebrate with Lolos parents and family. I knew it would be a bit of a challenge for Amy to not be able to communicate with this crazy bunch, but maybe that was in her favor anyway!! I did my best to interpret but all was made easier thanks to the ‘2 bottles’ rule; once we hit the 3^rd bottle of wine my family pledged to start speaking English, a great laugh for both sides. Even my famously grumpy great Aunt got into the spirit! For dinner my Aunt Martine prepared a sensational Alsacien feast incorporating Fois Gras, Bäckeoffe (a casserole with potatoes and three types of meat...), a huge cheese platter and 3 types of dessert. And the whole night my uncle Pierrot was on hand offering 3 types of Alsacien and Vallon wines.. Perfection!

My Aunty Kiki had a moment where she snorted with laughter, so hard and loud that the whole table stopped talking. As we all began to laugh she also continued snorting – egging on our laughter! It all got so much she had to move away from the table as tears of laughter rolled down our cheeks. Amy and I now call any moments of uncontrollable, and let’s face it inevitable, snorting ‘doing a Kiki’, please help spread the word by incorporating it into your vocabulary!

After 2 hours of present exchanging and ‘Kikis’ it was time for us to go home and rest in time for us to go home and rest in time for PART 3 of the Alsace family extravaganza; lunch at Sandra’s sisters house. However we came home to a shit mess as Siska had gotten in to Amys room and devoured a whole bag of chocolates, wrappers and all.. More on that later!

On Christmas day we got even more snow, just enough to make the roads too scary for me to drive... But enough to stop us from going to Christmas drinks! Sandra’s family is about as mental (in a good way) as mine so we all matched quite well! We ate Fois Gras, even had BBQd seafood, Sandra vomited after tasting an oyster and Laurent ate one and took it in his stride! Between 8 of us we drank well over 12 bottles of cremant, red and white wine, before testing out the new beer barrel that Santa delivered!

We had the 2 bottle rule again which was good for Amy, especially as we got through the 2^nd bottle in record time! It was such a fantastic evening with impromptu dancing, lots of laughter and translating, and even at one stage an indoor snow fight! Looking back at the photos it seems we also had a Hat catwalk happening, I rocked the gangsta sequins, obviously!

The saddest thing was Francois’ disbelief at how much Amy and I could drink, he kept remarking on how well we held our alcohol... We did Aussies worldwide proud apparently! And in true Christmas day fashion we were home and in bed by 8.30pm!! Ah busy days!

Our last day in France was a great day for nursing hangovers and packing bags. We had a situation with Siska vomiting everywhere... It became clear very quickly that it was the plastic wrappers from the pack of chocolates she inhaled on Christmas eve! Let’s just say cleaning up litres of Rottweiler vomit when you are hung-over is less than pleasant!

So Christmas is over and done for another year, I’m so glad I go to fit in a traditional French Christmas, but I am looking forward to a hot Christmas with beach and bathers and PRAWNS!!

Joyeaux Noel