Monday 4 July 2011

The tip of the Burg (The St Petersburg that is...)

While I absolutely loved my times in the Baltics there is no denying that I was giddy with excitement at the thought of venturing into the tip of Russia, St Petersburg. A lot of people are deterred by the strict visa restrictions and rumours of corrupt police. The visa was a lot easier to acquire than I had anticipated and while its true that the police are corrupt you just have to know how to handle them. The main thing is to always have a copy of your passport and your invitation when walking around, and if they ask to see your passport never give the original document because they have been known to hold it and demand a sum of money or they won’t give it back. I met some French people who hadn’t registered their visas and were stopped by police who demanded 3000 rubble on the spot. Ah Russians!
Border control was a bit special. Twice we had to get off the bus and take all our belongings with us. Each time passports were checked, questions were asked and bags were searched. Not pleasant at 2am!! Turns out the airports are even more rigorous with no less than 4 screen checks before you even you step out on the tarmac!

The bus dropped me off in the middle of nowhere and when I asked the attendant where I could catch the closest metro she just shrugged! So there I was at 6am I was on the streets, pretty as they are, frozen at -20 something with no idea where to go. I quickly discovered that next to no one speaks English, but some do speak French. So a few misguided directions and metro trips later I had arrived at my gorgeous hostel - Soul Kitchen.

They were so lovely and let me hop straight into bed which was well needed! Then over breakfast I became acquainted with some of the other guests, all of whom are awesome and most of whom spoke French. Looked like it was going to be a fun few days!!

The second I ventured out and saw St Petersburg in the day light I was in love. I could spend weeks people watching the Eastern looking men and the stunning Russian women in their big fur coats and black heeled boots.

To get to the main bits of the city from the hostel it was a nice long walk down Nevskiy Prospekt, Russias most famous street. Along this street every building is stunning, there is the Kazan Cathedral, Rastrelliesque Stroganov Palace, the Russian History museum and right at the end you’ll find the world famous Hermitage Museum. There were 3 things I came to St Petersburg; Vodka, The Church of the Saviour on the Spilled Blood and the Hermitage.

I was lucky to get there in the middle of the day and the line was virtually non-existent. Choice! It was ‘Celebrate the mother country’ day so I was surrounded by military boys which was nice!

After four hours of mingling and looking I went off in search of the famous Stolle pies. I had read about them and was eager to give them a shot. An hour of searching later Hangrr had settled in and I needed to get back to the hostel as frostbite was once again rearing his ugly head! On the walk back I happened to stumble across the Church of the Savour on the Spilled blood and was instantly captured by what is by far the most beautiful building I have ever seen! I spent a good ½ hour taking happy snaps before the cold really started to creep up on me again so it was time to give in to the cold and have a vodka fuelled night in with my new hostel friends.

The next day I had 3 goals – to find the elusive Stolle pie shop, to go inside the Church on the Saviour of the Spilled Blood and go see a ballet at the Mariinsky Theatre. Fortunately the Stolle search was a success and boy am I glad! Finally! Rabbit Pie and Wortleberry pie – Yummo! Right around the corner was my favourite building so I spent a good 2 hrs taking more photos. The inside is filled with hundreds of mosaics and is simply stunning!! Outside I went for a gorgeous walk through the snow laden summer gardens where I bought a hot wine to thaw out. The woman took pity on me ad spent the next fifteen minutes ‘forcing’ me to do vodka shots because as she said ‘this is the best and only way to beat the cold in Russia!’ Bless!

Feeling warm and fuzzy I somehow thought it would be a great idea to climb the Cononade at St Isaacs cathedral which has a spectacular view of the city. Vodka and icy spiral staircase equals DANGER! Was worth it for the view though!

Next stop was a visit to the gorgeous Marrinsky theatre for a ballet performance of Cinderella. Apparently there was a Stolle pie shop near the theatre but I looked for ½ an hour and couldn’t find it. Stolle eludes me L I opted instead for a gorgeous restaurant a bit out of my budget but very fitting for a night out at the theatre. For 360 rubbles (13 Aus dollars) I had a seat on the top balcony, I was expecting an obstructed view but it was actually brilliant. The couple next to me paid 1000 rubbles each buying the tickets from a tour guide. Rip off! I have never been to the ballet before but have been wanting to for a while. It brought back memories of our cheap Opera visit in Vienna! It was absolutely stunning and I truly loved it.

That night back at the hostel we had a ripper night, trading travelling war stories and tips on places to go next. John and Royce had been to a local soccer match Russia versus Germany and said it was amazing. A few people were throwing snow balls at rival fans but it turned gruesome when they upgraded to throwing massive ice chunks instead. A few people even ended up in hospital! Apparently Russian sport chants are also particularly hard to learn – go figure.

John and Royce met at the start of their Trans Siberian journey and have convinced me to do the same trip! I am now planning to do the Trans Siberian from Beijing/Mongolia up through Russia and into the Scandinavian countries. I’m now having a bit of a ‘mid twenties’ crisis trying to figure out how to go about it! I’m still going to move home but will be seriously rethinking my next move. This is the problem with travelling - when in the process of crossing one place off the list you meet people who put another 10 places on your lost... It’s a hard life!

On my last day I went to the gulf of Norway to walk on water Jesus style again. Twice in one week and I’m alive to tell the tale! It was great fun watching the people running around kids on with sleds, and old men ice fishing. Ahh Russia

Last on things to do was another visit to Stolle for a pie, easily found this time thank goodness! This time I had a fish pie, oh the deliciousness. After a leisurely stroll through Peter and Pauls Fortress and along the river back to the hostel it was time to pack up and get ready for Moldova.

St Petersburg is often referred to as a city that is in Russia but not Russian. Either way it is simply stunning and I will definitely be back to explore more of this fascinating country.



Sunday 3 July 2011

You went where????

The general reaction to my decision to go to Chisinau has been ‘’where’’ and ‘’why’?!’. Chisinau, pronounced locally as Kishinev, is the capital city of Moldova, a wee little country nestled between the Ukraine and Romania sitting on the Black Sea. Still classed as one of the poorest countries in the western world and boasting the highest populations of Peace Corps volunteers per capita in Europe it is no surprise that 70% of Moldovans live outside Moldova.

My reasons for going were simple; I needed to get from St Petersburg to South East Europe cheaply without spending days on a bus through Ukraine. Enter Air Baltic – Latvia’s answer to Ryan Air servicing Eastern Europe with tiny tiny planes!

Upon arriving at the airport I was instantly bombarded by people trying to bundle me up and throw me in their taxi. Luckily I knew to catch a mini bus, and a good thing too as the people I met on the bus became my Moldova buddies! Alex (German and studying medicine in Chisinau) and his girlfriend Kaorin (Japanese and volunteering at an orphanage) had come to the airport to meet two Estonian guys (Siim and Allan, two military men from Tallinn) who were doing a couch surfing stint at their place. We hit it off straight away and made plans to meet up later – always nice to know a local!

The drive into town was very humbling; I was immediately stunned by the poverty. Chisinau is paradoxical with a city full of gypsys and peasants and Hummers and Limousines cruising down the famous high street, Stefan Del Mar.On the main street everything is expensive but as soon as you go a block back the prices drop at least 2/3rds. I also couldn’t believe how many currency exchange offices there were. Without a word of a lie every second store had a currency conversion counter. According to Alex this may be because such a large percentage of the population live and work outside of Moldova so when they come back they need to exchange money. Still seems odd to me!

The transport system is hectic but effective. There are a few tram lines but the soul of the system is the minivans. 3 lei (40₵ aus) a trip and you have to wave them down and jump on as they slow down and open the roller door as the slowly roll past! When getting off you have to hope you are not jumping off onto a patch of black ice! Not ideal!I do have to note how warm it was. Sadly at this stage warm for me was -5 but I was just happy not to be in the -20’s anymore! Malaysian summer is sure going to be a shock to my system!

The first of March in Europe marks the first day of spring and in the Balkan countries I noticed that the locals wear and sell small little brooches or decorations with red and white baubles/hearts/flowers hanging off them. These represent the holiday Martenista and are worn from the first day of Spring until the first Stork is spotted, marking the official beginning of Spring.

The markets are amazing, here you can find everything from dry goods to toilet paper to chicken feet and woollen shoe inlays. The poverty was quite apparent as the prices are absurdly low.

Oh and I’ll have 3kg of chicken feet please! I liked how the salad containers had candles in them to prevent frost bite! I stood out like dog balls amongst the gypsys with my big camera out – TOURIST!

As interesting as Chisinau was I have to admit it would have been a bit of a morose trip if I hadn’t Alex and co. On the first night they took me to a funky underground bar that served yummy vodka and beer and was playing a documentary on ‘The Police’ which was interesting. On the 2nd day Alex led us to a cute underground wine bar where we had two 4litre jugs of wine and 6 plates of borek for a total of $12 Aus split amongst 5! Amazing!! We had such a fantastic time and I got to meet the most incredibly diverse range of people, really made me second guess the whole moving home thing.... The wine certainly didn’t help!!

Moldova is famous for its wine and even has a winery that houses the world’s largest collection of wine. I’ll have to come back in the summer to check that out for sure!

All in all Moldova was an unexpected delight on the whole Far Eastern Europe Extravaganza. The poverty was something I wasn’t quite expecting but a very small taste of what was to come as I ventured further south. The next stop on FEEE was an over night bus (dodgy dodgy dodgy) straight to Draculas Transylvanian hub, Brasov. Spoooooooooky! Good thing I was drunk for the bus ride or I may have freaked myself out..

Stay tuned!

Introducing the Baltics - Riga and Tallin

For weeks I had been planning and looking forward to my self titled FEEE, Far Eastern European Extravaganza. As I was heading back to OZ for a while I decided to do a whirlwind trip visiting some of the countries I’ve never quite gotten far enough to explore.

I was all set, I said goodbye to the Ledgers and Luxembourg and dealt with my fear of the impending descent into -20 degrees... I had opted to fly Ryan Air out of Frankfurt Hahn, a sign of my desperation to get to the Baltics as I have refused to fly Ryan Air since the first time I flew with them some 7 years ago. Sadly budget and convenience got the better of me but thanks to my cheeky concealment of my 2nd bag (lap top bag) I ‘got the better’ right back!

Arriving in Riga was an instant thrill. It was -15, the language was so far distant from anything I have ever heard and the currency was bizarre. The ground was laden with thick snow, the dry crunchy style that is Angie’s bung knee friendly. Although I must note that my knee is doing exceptionally well, no slips at all, a far cry from the shuffle/crawl I had to permanently perform during mine and Amy’s Christmas/New Year adventures. Yay!!

Fun Franks hostel was fantastic. The main guy, Jeremy the Aussie, was great which helped make up for the two surly local girls who also worked there. I did come to realise the next day that their hostility was more a language and cultural barrier difference than an attitude problem.

Venturing into Riga that night I was surprised by how quiet it was, especially for a Saturday night. Fair to say this may have had something to do with the fact that it was -15 which I discovered the second I walked into a bar on a side street and saw that it was packed to the brim. Not exactly ‘roaming the streets’ weather...

In the day light Riga is simply gorgeous. Ice carvings in the main square, renaissance style architecture everywhere you turn and a beautiful frozen river. For breakfast I went to a local little cafe to sample their famous pancakes, I tried plain with jam and sour cream (turns out everything is served with sour cream here, EVERYTHING!) and one with banana filling!

Riga is a great city to just walk around exploring the intricate mate of side streets and chasing away stray cats while listening to Fifi and Jules’ new radio podcasts while laughing out loud. The markets are a must to get a real taste of the locals, and the museum of occupation of Latvia was a brilliant insight into Latvia’s former soviet history.

To enhance my ‘soviet’ experience I went to an underground former soviet bunker that is now a shooting range and it was brilliant! I went with some hilarious Scottish girls from the hostel one of whom works with my ‘Aupair’ mum in Luxembourg, such a small world! The bunker was lined roof to floor with egg cartons for noise insulation and the couple facilitating the shooting wouldn’t let us photo graph them ... Dodgy!

We would each be shooting a Glock 17, an AK – 102 and an AK-47. I personally have always wanted to do this, even more so the past year or so and I could not wait to have a shot.

First up was the Glock 17 and I found it to be the hardest. I felt uncomfortable with such a small thing - I felt like I had no control, like with one twitch of the wrist and it would be disastrous. I found the AK-102 was the best, almost no recoil and although it was bigger I felt I had much more control over it. Last but not least was the much anticipated AK-47. Holy crap, I think my shoulder was still sore 2 days later! The power of the AK-47 was exhilarating and frightening at the same time! At the end I had gotten 17/18 shots on James Bond and 15 of them were between the brain, jugular and heart. A fact I am still not sure that I should be proud of... Bah let’s face it, I loved it!

Straight after the shooting it was off to the bus station for the first of 7 overnight buses/trains I would be catching before the FEEE is over!

Tallin got off to a great start. My taxi driver was absolutely adorable and it was slightly warmer than I had been anticipating at -12 and the hostel was great and welcoming! I had lost one of my favourite red leather gloves at the underground bunker and thanks to the sub zero temperatures it was the only thing on my mind! The grounds were noticeably icier than in Riga, I noticed some spectacular stacks. Once I had bought spanking new gloves it was time to join the slip and slide around the city. I thought ‘kissing hill’ was pretty cute with a maccas at the bottom of the hill perfect for all the randy hungry teenagers. I stumbled across a park full of gorgeous snow sculptures in various shapes and sizes but all with the theme ‘child’s playground’. I particularly liked the massive naked woman; you slide from between her boobs and finish ceremoniously flying out of her vejayjay. 3 year olds screaming all the way down!

I went for a walk out to Tallin Prison where I decided to pull a Jesus and walk on water; the Baltic Sea is frozen solid out to about 200 meters. I could only bring myself to go out about 2 meters before shitting myself and ‘sliding’ back to safety. Of course right at that moment my camera ran out of battery so I high tailed it back to the hostel to thaw, recharge and check out Facebook. Good thing I did as the second I logged on I knew something was wrong from all the posts of disbelief and shock from family and friends. It took the spotting of a post from a cousin in Brisbane to another cousin in Christchurch that I realised New Zealand had been struck by another earthquake. Thankfully my family and friends are ok but my thoughts go out to all who have been affected. Arohanui


Once I had regained composure and my battery had recharged I returned to the slippery streets of Tallinn. Like Riga Tallinn is an easy city to lose yourself in. So much so I spent 5 hours walking around without a single cafe stop (stupid considering it was -20) and started to have genuine fears of frostbite. I was beginning to think that I would never regain the feeling in my fingers but managed to thaw them wrapped around a cup of hot mulled wine at Krug.

Krug is a gorgeous wee medieval tavern on the main square where you can get a mug of mulled wine, a bowl of Estonian stew and a wild boar pie for a grand total of 4euro. There was also Kohvicum, an underground cafe with funky decor and Hells Hunt bar, the first bar Tallinn and proud brewers of their own range of beers and cider (the latter being particularly yummmmmmy!).

In the upper part of town there are some amazing vantage points for views of both the city of Tallinn and the Baltic Sea. Right on sunset I got to witness that pink dusty colour that is only found during sunsets in Europe. It was up there that I discovered Boheme, a cute and cheap restaurant serving Russian style pancakes and local ‘A le Coq’ beer. Combinations of either bacon or cheese mince and potato or mushroom filled pancake served with sour cream. So tasty!

Everything about Tallinn and Riga was lovely. From the Russian like accents to the cobblestoned streets and funky filled pancakes I can’t wait to come back!


Monday 14 March 2011

Generation F

In 2010 Time magazine controversially named Mark Zuckerberg, founder of Facebook.com, Time Magazines’ man of the year. This decision came under both heavy fire and critical acclaim. Scholars and citizens arguing both sides of the case. While Facebook currently has over 600 million users there is still a large portion of the technology savvy community who see Facebook as a time consuming, privacy invading waste of time, heck even most Facebook users will admit to that.

Facebook graced our presence in 2004 not long after social networking giant My Space had really begun to gain momentum. The site began at Harvard University when a group of unlucky in love ‘geeks’ thought of it as a way to meet and ‘grade’ girls. Many years, billions of dollars, a box office movie and countless lawsuits later it has grown into the most visited social networking website and the second most visited general website, second only to search engine Google.com. As a social network Facebook has different applications. Mainly used as an easy and free way to keep up to date with friends and family, some also use it to meet new people and others use it as their main form of communication. I remember times living in London where I could faster get a response on Facebook than via ‘old fashioned’ SMS.

Some will argue that Facebook is a copout. The slack persons way of keeping in contact with friends without any actual face to face contact. You can comment on photos without actually being part of the action, leave comments on status updates with ever picking up the phone. I must admit I do turn to Facebook to keep in contact with people a lot. However I do travel and when I am home I can go weeks without logging on. I also think it is important to still pick up the phone or at least email/sms close family and friends for birthdays and special events, but it is very easy to fall into the Facebook bubble.

There is also a gaming element to Facebook. A large range of applications and games are available which is where, along with consumer based advertising, is where the money is made. Through Facebook ‘apps’ you can get your daily horrorscope, follow your pregnancy with the help of a weird blob shaped cartoon character, play poker, build a farm, create a mob war and send virtual cirthday cards. There is even an applications to see how much time you spend on Facebook. I generally stay away from the extra time consuming temptations and even block games and apps as they begin to flood my page but this particular app terrifies me. I’m certain my % would be mortifyingly high!

A huge problem with the applications and games is the exposure to harmful viruses and hacking. If Hotmail wasn’t bad enough for virus sharing there is now a wide range of applications and programs that are fronts for hackers. I know at least half a dozen people who have had their pages hacked and had to cancel their accounts and start afresh. Allowing these programs to access your profile puts holes in what is already a thin privacy net. Facebook is constantly tweaking their privacy laws and settings leaving even the technology savvy user out of their depth. Do you turn your account to 100% private and stop people from being able to find and request your friendship or do you leave it open and hope for the best?

Between networking, applications and games it is ridiculously easy to waste time on Facebook. Facebook ‘stalking’ is a major culprit. Looking at certain friends’ pages to see you they are talking too, what they are planning and what they have been up to. And we’ve all had FB crush we’ve stalked too! On Facebook there is even the option to ‘poke’ one another. In the virtual realm a peak means ‘ Hello, I’m thinking about you but don’t have the time to string a sentence together so... POKE’. I once had a ‘poke-a-thon’ with a friend that went back and forth for a month before we actually exchanged words.

Facebook also gives you the option of ‘liking’ friend’s photos and status updates. Show support for a cause LIKE, think a photo is particularly memorable LIKE , impressed by what one friend says to another LIKE. For years Facebook users have been calling for a dislike button but Facebook still hasn’t come up with the goods. I personally think it is a good thing, it’s already easy enough to have a Facebook friendship based primarily on LIKEing each other’s every move, throw a disLIKE button in there and we will no longer have the need to converse.

Facebook has redefined friendship; the Oxford dictionary defines a friend as ‘a person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically one exclusive of sexual or family relations’. Facebook friends are a different kettle of fish entirely. For starters you can Facebook friend people that you have never met, and secondly Facebook relationships tend to be very superficial. I met a guy in Latvia that had randomly searched for people named Emily and set out befriending as many as he could for a bet. 50 and 130 Emily’s later Facebook would have you believe that he is fortunate enough to have an extra 130 extra friends to call upon when in need. But realistically how many of these Emilys will be there when he needs them? How many of these Emilys know his allergies? How many of them even know where he is from. I think it is fair to say that Facebook friends should be better referred to as Facebook acquaintances.

I currently have 436 Facebook friends, this time last year I culled about 50 but with all the travelling the number seems to creep back up. Every now and then I go through and delete people I rarely speak to on Facebook and never in real life. Of the remaining 435 friends 30 of them are brothers, sisters, lovers and pets of closer friends. 100 of them are once upon a time friends, people that I knew back in the day either through school or work but if it weren’t for Facebook we would probably have little to do with each other. If I was to run into one of these people the conversation would likely go a little like this – ‘‘Wow, how are you? Oh my god it’s been so long! Me? Yeah I am really well thanks, I saw on Facebook that you (insert live achievement here), that is amazing! DO you hear from anyone from back in the day? Yeah true, well it was so great to see you, I have to go, and we should make a time to catch up, yeah for sure. I’ll Facebook you.” 50 of them are family and family friends and at least 10 are people I want to delete and probably would delete would it not be such a drama. Probably over 150 of them are people I met while travelling and at least 30 of them are close friends that I communicate with more on the phone or in person. The rest are normal real life friends who happen to be on Facebook and it is just as easy to use FB as it is to contact in person.

Facebook has ruined the concept of school reunions. Thanks to status updates and photo uploading by the time the 10 year reunion comes along we all know each other’s news. Photos mean we even know how each other may have aged – ‘Ooh did you see on FB that such and such had a boob job’, ‘Oooh I noticed on FB that so and so went blonde!’, and my favourite ‘Did you see that trashy photo of bla bla at you-know-who’s party?’

I am a huge fan of FB photos. 3 billions photos are uploaded to Facebook per month worldwide. I think I currently have an ever increasing 130 photo albums, which is quite a lot by most people’s standards. To be fair I’ve travelled a lot and even in High School I was the girl with the camera snapping every move. Facebook offers users a free and easy to use forum for sharing all kinds of moments through words and pictures and even video. Once you have uploaded photos you and your friends then have the option of ‘tagging’ each other in the photos. This can be dangerous as there is often some contention over how people look in uploaded photos. Some people get very sensitive about the hideous/funny/incriminating photos. I try to be nice with the uploading of photos but I have definitely had a few run-ins with friends who got upset by photos I uploaded. I find the best way to go about it now is to tag the person once so they know they are part of the album and then let them tag themselves and choose which photos they want shared on their profile. Problem solved. There have also been stories of potential employers ‘face stalking’ and seeing raging photos of possible future staff can be a bit of a turn off.

There are also the parents and family friends on Facebook. On one hand it is fun to add them and for me it has been a great way for my parents to keep tabs on me. While the downfall being that they know every time I come home at 4am or do something stupid! On the travelling circuit it allows for peace of mind but when you live near your parents there is definitely less appeal to having them privy to your every FB move. Lucky for me both my parents rely more on my siblings to hear FB stories.. Phew!

It goes without saying that Facebook has enhanced the backpackers travel experience. Almost every person you meet has a FB account so it is perfect for photo sharing and a potential bed or coffee mate one day in the future. I have FB friends that I met travelling that I have put up for a night here or there and would hope to be able to ask for at least a ‘locals perspective’ when I visit their city. There are also the times when you see a friend is or is about to be in the same place as you, it is a great medium for the accidental catch ups!

Recently I have come to realise Facebook is much more than a social networking site. During the many national disasters that have been occurring in Japan, Queensland and New Zealand Facebook has been an invaluable source of comfort through status updates. During the flood event and Cyclone we Aussies overseas were able to keep up with all the information through the likes of family and friends on Facebook. The QLD police department and the Bureau of Meteorology among others were using their pages to bring updates, links to live news conferences and important information to their ‘fans’. It was incredible to be able to see photos come up as it was happening and see status updates from being in the heart of the disasters. As heart wrenching as it was to be so far away from home it was great to be able to offer support on FB and pass on information and links to friends in need. With Cyclone Yasi it was amazing as there were people in the affected areas that were able to communicate and talk about what was happening around them as the cyclone was on their door step. With phone and electricity lines down people where able to turn to FB to contact family and friends and release tension and fear and get messages of support from around the globe.

With the earthquake in Christchurch Facebook once again has been turned to for information, reassurance and support. It was through FB that I heard of the earthquake and through FB that I was able to search for and confirm the safety of my family and friends in CHCH. With phone lines down it was invaluable to be able to see up to date information. Even people in CHCH have been using Facebook to contact and support one another. I heard an amazing story of a girl whose father lives in Christchurch and was non contactable in the hours after the earthquake. She had FB’d her brother who is living in America. He posted on his FB page that he was seeking help looking for his dad in Christchurch. His friends than re posted his message on their pages and on Twitter pages, his plea for help being seen by 10’s of thousands of strangers around the world in less than ten minutes. Within 15 minutes he had a response from a guy in CHCH, who was in grid locked traffic and only a ten minutes walk from the man’s fathers house. He got out of his car and walked to find the man’s father safe outside his home. To me this is an amazing example of the power of social networking and the kindness of the human race.

Facebook is only 7 years old and with 600 million active users (people who have logged on at least once in the last month) it is arguably the 3rd largest country in the world. Available in 70 languages including ‘Pirate’ and with 1700 employers based in 12 countries it is easily the most multicultural ‘country’ in the world. Like any country you can choose to live there or just pass through when you get the time. It is what it is but more importantly I believe like any country I have visited Facebook is what you make of it, good bad or indifferent.

Sunday 13 February 2011

The night I spent with a prostitute...

There are 2 things people go to Amsterdam for;

1) Bike riding along the canals
2) the red light district, and
3) to have a ‘coffee’ at a ‘coffee’ house.

Some on the best spots to do number 3 is in number 2 and if you do want to do number 1 its probably best to avoid doing it after number 3 and avoid doing number 1 in number 2 because it’s just so crowded.

I recently managed to pop up to Amsterdam for a quick weekend away from Luxembourg, not only to have a go at #’s 1-3 but to notch up country #33. Upon arriving I quickly decide to ditch #1 after seeing how crazy the locals are and how hazardous the tourist riders are! After settling into my hostel I walked outside to be treated to a few window displays – seems I was staying right on the edge of the Red Light District. Sweet!

I opted for the 2hr walking tour of the RLD to get acclimated with the city straight away and it was perfect. Our tour guide was 18yr old Tina, the crudest 18yr old I have ever met, perfect for the job. One person was complaining that she was a bit too rude but really if you cannot handle a few sex jokes then you probably should shy away from the Red Light District altogether!! We walked past the oldest bar in Amsterdam, ‘In the Monkey’, named so because of the years when sailors would pay off their tabs with monkeys they had procured on their pirate journeys. We spotted some blue flags and rainbow flags, generally found opposite taped/boarded up buildings that are in fact hard core mens gay S&M clubs.


Apparently UK men account for over 50% of the RLD’s income – quite a substantial amount really!! How it all works is the girls each rent a window in 8 hr time blocks ranging from 60 to 200 depending on location, amenities and the girls ‘stature’. There are alleys with only Scandinavian girls/Latin girls/Russian girls and so forth. A standard ‘suck and f*&@’costs around 20 and lasts 15 minutes not a second longer. Want her to smile? Pay more. Want her to say your name? Pay more. Want her to pretend to be in to it? Pay a lot more. The same ‘service’ from a lady on the Highrollers Street will cost you at least double and you’ll be lucky to walk past an open window, those girls tend to be booked up. Photos are generally not accepted and the girls are known to pretty hard arse about it, cameras have been known to be broken. ..
When the light outside the window is on it means the window is open for business and if the curtain is closed it means come back in 15 minutes. Apparently a few years ago they had an experiment to see if men would be as popular. 4 men rented windows to see if women would hire their services. Unfortunately because of the press attention it was shut down after 30 minutes. However 10 women did get their business done in that time, well done ladies.

Right in the middle of the RLD there is a stunning church, because even hookers are religious. Right? It was originally built so the sailors could repent after a wicked night, or even confess the day before if they were leaving early in the morning. There is also a Christian Hostel right in the centre. Brilliant! Just up the road there is also a fantastic condomerie right down the road, very innovative stuff!

All in all I have to admit I did not once feel unsafe – even walking home at night after a few too many ‘coffees’, I honestly felt safer than I ever did in London. Although I don’t think that even the police could save me from a cranky prostitute.

Speaking of prostitutes, after the RLD tour I decided to go to Resin Cafe just up from my hostel and have a few ‘coffees’. I was at the bar sitting next to a girl and we got to chatting, she was lovely, has a kid, is a local and was kind enough to give me some tips on what to do while in Amsterdam. An hour and a half later when we were talking about work I asked her what she does for a living and she said she worked in the area so I thought nothing more of it! Took me a coffee or two more to realise that she is a famous window worker! Haha so funny, she was hilarious and so genuinely kind, would never have picked her for a hooker! Not bad for the first night in town...

For breakfast the next day I went to another coffee house that sells splifs with your breakfast, only in Amsterdam! I met the most hilarious Kiwi woman, she was so bubbly and happy, and her accent had me in stitches! I met up with her later in the day for a beer, love!
After breakfast I decided to go for another tour, but this time it was the 3hr walking tour. Unfortunately this time round it was shit, the guide sucked and was not at all funny or interesting... I still absorbed some info but she didn’t leave me inspired! No tip for you! We did however get to try some yummmmmmmy Edam cheese and we saw some pretty interesting statues...
I quickly discovered that Amsterdam itself is actually a bike city. As in there are more bikes than people in the city at any one time. Every 6 months the council goes through the city and removes bikes that have been unused for x amount of time and there are bike parking centres all over the place. The Dutch are awesome!
The thinnest house
I also went on a boat trip around the Canals which was much much better! The boat driver was hilarious and spoke about 5 languages, was really informative without being boring and even let me have a drive of the boat! Look out!!
I checked out a great little restaurant just up from the Anne Frank house for dinner and had delicious Pea and Ham soup, a Dutch specialty apparently, not normally a fan but it was pretty tasty!
And for desert it was off to test the famous Bull Dog cafe coffee. The Bull Dog cafes are a chain of coffee/joint houses with quite an extensive menu. The space cake is pretty good and effective as is their ‘coffee’ menu. I spent the night blogging and chatting to another local I met at the bar and the two guys working the bar. They shouted us a few coffees and the three of them showed me to the best waffle house in town after dinner... FUN!

I was lucky enough to find quite a few shops that sold travel patches, much to my delight as I have been missing about 15 badges from my collection. So exciting!! My bags are now covered and I only have one or two spots left before I need to move on to the next bag! SWEEEET

All up Amsterdam was an absolute blast, the clogs, the smokes, the cheese, the whores, the waffles, the bikes. Definitely a memorable trip!!!