Jane Doe

Jane Doe has spent $2500 AUD on airfares, another $1000 on insurance and clothes, sold everything she owns, quit her job and packed a suitcase.

She has boarded the plane, (didn’t forget her passport), said goodbye to her family, flown for 8hrs, had a one hour stop-over and flown for another 13 hours.

Twenty-two hours, 3 in flight meals, 7 in flight movies and no showers later Jane Doe has finally reached her destination.

For most people this sounds like a nightmare, but to any nomad who is out there to see the world, it is just the niggly beginning of an adventure that might lead them through cobbled streets in Prague, under bridges along the river Siene in Paris or onto an ice skating rink in Luxembourg.

Jane Does first big overseas trip will be pretty daunting. She’ll miss a train, run out of cash on a Sunday afternoon in an ATM free city and be yelled at by a disgruntled local. She will miss her family and friends (although Facebook and Skype will make it easier), she will come to appreciate the eccentricities of homeless people and she will learn to smile less at strangers.

Jane might go on a contiki tour, she most definitely will run into people she knows along the way and eventually she will run out of money and have to make a decision between finding work in a random country or moving home. Of course this might be dependent on that niggly piece of paperwork, the Visa. She may even have to pull off a sham marriage to stay in the country of her dreams.

She will lose friends, but will realize that some friendships are stronger than steel. She will make new friends, travel friends and work friends. She might fall in and out of love, repeatedly, and in multiple languages. Her suitcase will double in size and her Lonely Planet guide will be battered.

Only one thing is certain and it is that Jane Doe will change, maybe for the better maybe for the worse. She will learn and see things that other people might only dream of. Most importantly she will learn to appreciate the friends and family that she made along the way and the friends and family that will welcome her with open and understanding arms if, and when, she goes home.

Malaysia Part Two

After my week of relaxing and eating on Penang it was time to head to Kuala Lumpur, the Malaysian capital. However it should not be seen as an accurate representation of the rest of Malaysia, those of you who have been to Bangkok, Dublin or any major capital city for that matter, would know what I mean.

It is overpriced, the drivers are mental, it is smelly and hideously polluted. Everyone is out to make a dollar (or Ringitt if we are being correct) and no one wants to help anyone.

The metro is actually a necessity to get from A to B, as crossing the roads is a hazard to oneself. I personally became a great fan of the taxi service. Cheap, fast and efficient especially for those of us with bung knees that are not coping so well!

I actually felt frightened walking alone at night for the first time in a long time and thanks to a psychotic masseuse who bruised my back I now have a slight phobia of massage therapists.

I am not, however, one to dwell on the negative. Glass half full etc and so forth. So I will admit that I was hot and bothered and this may have put a ‘çranky’ haze over everything for me. There are definitely some great things to do and see in and around KL but I guess like any place you visit you have to make the best of a bad situation.

My hostel, for one, was amazing. Owned and run by an Iranian guy and his (gorgeous guitar playing) cousin, the hostel was everything you’d expect and much more than you’d dare to hope for in Asia. Cheap, clean, safe and friendly.

Around the corner from the hostel is Bukit Bitang, the famous shopping mall strip. Along this street there are at least 10 huge shopping centres, hawker markets and loads of massage/foot reflexology/fish spa clinics.

On my last afternoon in KL I decided to treat myself to a pamper afternoon, fish spa followed by foot reflexology and topped off with a head neck and shoulders massage. To truly understand the experience I had read this blog http://angellemills.blogspot.com/2010/11/massage-from-hell.html. In short it was the worst massage experience I have ever had in my life.

The markets in KL are brilliant. Petaling Street Night markets are a bargainer’s heaven. Everything you could need from sunnies and shoes to nunchucks and pirate DVD’s all on one strip. You do have to be careful though, as soon as you show interest they consider you sold and will follow and yell at you until you make a sale. I had to slap one guy to get him to let go of my arm!

Food wise KL is not too bad. A lot more expensive than Penang, I was relieved to discover they had a Starbucks near my hostel. I was getting a bit sick of having rice and noodle dishes for breakfast lunch and dinner! I did also discover ‘You Tiao’, a flaky pastry puff thingy, almost like a Malaysian version of Churros but not as greasy. All this served with a nice cold glass of fresh sweetened soybean milk. MmMM

Seeing as I was clearly not that impressed by KL itself I opted to get out of the city a bit. I went to the bird sanctuary in the city park and had lunch at the restaurant overlooking the park. It was nice to see a bit of greenery and quite interesting having birds visit me and join me at the table while eating. Cheeky!

Close to the park there is the National Mosque. I had struck up quite an interest in Islam while I was in Penang so I decided to check it out. Upon arriving at the mosque tourist women are given a hooded cloak to wear, designed for respect, but I found it good to ‘get in the mood’. I had the opportunity to speak to a few of the sisters who helped me to better understand Islam and its different parameters. They explained the difference between Burqa's and the full Niqab, why they wear it and why certain woman choose the different extremes. They also showed me a tree of the Islam, Jewish and Christian roots and explained how a lot of them actually stem from the same men.

Tres Interesting.

I also decided to head out to Shah Alam to visit the Blue Mosque, the largest Mosque in the southern hemisphere. There I met a man who was a little too radical for my liking. He took my inquisitiveness as an indication that I wanted to join his faith and was quite insistent. He sang the call to prayer to me about 5 times.. Intense

Close to Shah Alam are the Batu Caves, quite an impressive set of caves. The caves themselves are probably not the key tourist attraction, there is however a HUGE statue of some goddess that looks quite incredible. Also once you have climbed the 272 odd steps to the top you are greeted by a school of cheeky (really cheeky) monkeys. The monkeys definitely made it worthwhile for me. They were so freaking cute! There were lots of little baby ones and they were all scavenging for food and mucking around. It took me about an hour to walk back down the steps as there was just so many on them playing around, it was adorable. I must admit, however, that I had a few moments of fear when they got a little too close, I haven’t had my rabies shot yet.. hahah Whoops

Next time I go to Malaysia I will probably by-pass KL, or stay one night just for a hit of You Tiao and a stint of shopping at the Petaling markets. All in all I had a good time but am looking forward to returning to explore more of this diverse country.

BOOGIE NIGHTS!

Taxi from New Farm to Roma Street (at 4.30 am after being out till one, thanks boys!), bus from Roma Street to Gold Coast, plane (delayed 3hrs, thanks air asia) from Gold Coast to Kuala Lumpur, plane from KL to Penang, and taxi from Airport to Love lane.

I know, I know, these days most people would look at this thinking ‘oh shit, thats one hell of a carbon footprint, I better go plant a tree’ but to be honest after 18hrs of transit all I could think was ‘Damn Penang better be worth it’.

And it was. It was fantastic. It was everything I needed and more.

To start off with my hostel was amazing. I’ve heard so many stories about hostels in Asia, from bed bugs and broken air-conditioning to downright hideous sanitary conditions. Red Inn was perfect. Situated on what is touted as the ‘dodgy street’ of Penang, Love Lane, I thought it was actually a great location, walking distance to most things and far enough from the city centre to feel less like a tourist.

On my first day I met two lovely Swedish girls, Hanna and Emilie. They were a good source of knowledge as they had been in Penang for some time, and they were a great source of entertainment too.We went out to Batu Ferrenghi (CHECK SPELLING) the famous beach/resort strip. The stupid bus driver yelled at us and told us to get off the bus about 4 km before our final destination! Jackass. It is not a bad beach, lots of water sports available such as jet-ski, water skiing and paddle boats. For the land lovers they have horse riding, massage and windsurfing. So not really the most relaxing beach but good for absorbing the rays all the same!

I had a man offer to give us a massage who was quite lovely. He was so pleased when I said I came from Australia, ‘A miss, you from Australia?! Australia is all good now, Julia Gillard is in now, with the red hair, John Howard is jogging in Canberra and Kevin Rudd has gone fishing. Yes miss, Australia gonna be good now’.

I was so impressed, but I couldn’t help wondering whether he actually follows Australian politics or if he just has a speech prepared to suck us in!!

All up I stayed 5 days in Penang and it was my first real insight into travelling in Asia on my own. Here’s a few of the things that stood out for me;

Lady boys – They actually do exist! I spotted my first lady boy at the 7-11 on our corner and it took me a few minutes to figure out whether he/she was a woman with really flat boobs or indeed a lady boy. I know now to always check for the adams apple!!

Funerals – There was a street just of China Town riddled with “24 hr’’ funeral parlours AND I happened to witness a procession one day while waiting for the bus. The hearse had a huge photo of the deceased attached to the bonnet of the car and sombre music playing from loud speakers attached to the roof. Bizzare.

3 man – a dangerous yet undeniably fun drinking game introduced to us by the Sweds. A game of chance and two dice, not a good game if you are drinking beer or fizzy drinks.. Albert , the hostel owner, and Wee, Alberts right hand man, got right into it with us a few times and I truly hope it lives on at the Red Inn!! Booooogie Nights!

Hawker markets – the food markets here are just incredible. So many varieties of food from so many different countries. And nothing over 7mr ($2.50 Aus), you can basically get a 2 course meal and 2 drinks for under $10! Fabulous!!

One night I decided to be greedy and tried Eel sushi (not amazing), Satay Ayam (chicken satay, always fabulous), the local Laksa (very nice, different style to the one I make but delish all the same), and Frog Porridge. The frog porridge was actually not too bad. Tasted like chicken...

Rickshaws – I took a rickshaw ride on the last night, pretty much just for the photo opportunity! The man was so sweet and only charged me 5 ringgit and when I insisted on giving him 10 ringgit he started crying! He said that he had just payed all his bills and had no money and was so thankful! 10 ringgit is about $3.50! It’s quite humbling sometimes to think how different our realities really are and how lucky we are.

Mosques – I am not a religious person and I am certainly not a Muslim but I have to say I have fallen in love with Mosques. The ‘call to prayer’ has to be one of the most beautiful sounds I have ever heard. While I was in KL I visited a few mosques and learnt alot about Islam so more on this topic later.

All in all Penang ticked all the right boxes. Sunshine, shopping, excellent food and great people, at a reaaaaaally good price!

Ill be back Penang

Food. Glorious Food.

Some time ago I decided that I should do a cooking course in every country I go to . I absolutely love cooking and trying new things so it seems the perfect fit for me. If I had done this from the beginning I would have done 29 courses by now.. Oh well no time like the present to get stuck into it!

Penang is a place where the Malay, Indian and Chinese societies merge. This fabulous combination creates a hot pot of different cooking styles. At any one of the famous Hawkers food halls you’ll find Nasi Lemak, the unofficial local dish du jour, rice steamed with coconut water, crushed peanuts, cucumber, egg and hot sambal, and Roti Canai, an Indian flacky crispy crepe style bread served with curry and dhal not to be had without a mug of Teh Tarik (pulled tea). Frog porridge and frog leg stirfry sits beside the satay ayam (chicken satay), sushi, nasi goreng and even a burger stand.

In order to learn more about the local Malay cooking I enrolled myself in a cooking class at ‘The Tropical Garden’ (http://www.tropicalspicegarden.com). There were 9 of us, 8 Australians and 1 American so naturally we hit it off instantly. To get us in the mood we were taken on a tour through the Spice Garden. Our fabulous guide showed us an amazing range of ornamental and edible plants. I personally was a bit captivated by the coriander and basil plants! We saw purple chillies, the herb that absinthe is made from, a cinnamon tree and a very old rubber tree.

We were led to the cooking area and it was time to pop on our aprons and get stuck into it! Our class instructor was a lovely local woman by the name of Nazlina. She had four dishes she wanted to share with us, Beef Rendang, Salted Fish Curry, Angle beans Prawn salad and Sambal Belachan. It wasn’t the kind of class where we each had all the ingredients and utensils to make your own, it was more of a combined effort. Naz would show us what needed to be done and we would all take turns doing different jobs.

We learnt to crack open coconuts ‘the lady way’, using your thumb to hold the coconut like a bowling ball and a hammer to crack that bad boy open. Once opened Naz took to showing us how to shred the coconuts. She explained that you can either straddle the machine or ride it side saddle ‘like a lady’.

Naturally I went for the first option.

Apparently in Malaysia your coconut shredding style and ability is paramount to finding a good husband. If the coconut is finely shredded then you are eligible for a good husband. She also showed us how to make Sambal, chilli paste. She had this amazing great big mortar and pestle style rolling block just for the job. Basically we were to crush the whole chillies down to a loose paste. Again a chore that could score you a great man! This time it is based not on the end product (coz lets face it, chilli paste is chilli paste) but on the rhythm of your chilli crushing.

Lets just say I will not be getting married anytime soon!!

Meanwhile we were turning shredded coconut into a chocolate type paste by crushing it in the mortar and pestle. We also had a chain of garlic crushing, lemongrass slicing, vege dicing and meat prepping happening. Just before we threw it all together Naz showed us how to make fresh coconut milk. It basically involved immersing the coconut shreds back through the coconut water a few times and then pouring it through a sieve. Then, one handful at a time, you squeeze the now wet coconut shreds over the coconut water and the end product is coconut milk. It was definitely fun to do but to be fair I will be sticking to the canned option I think!

Together we took turns to combine the ingredients, stir the woks until finally it was time to eat. The meals were amazing, the prawn salad with Angle beans was my stand out favourite and just quietly I did go back for a second serving of the salted fish curry!!

It was a truly fabulous morning, thanks to Naz and my fellow master chefs for such a memorable day.

Oh, and did I mention that the setting for the class had us peering through the Spice Garden on one side and gazing at breathtaking views of the beach on the other?

Bliss.

Massage from hell...

What is it they say? You get what you paid for?

Well I just paid to have my back pummeled like a slab of cow about to be turned into mince.. and for only $7.5

Im in KL so its a great spot for a stupid cheap massage etc.

I decided to treat myself to a pamper afternoon, a fish spa (little fishies eating the dead skin off your feet), a foot reflexology massage and a back and neck massage. The first two were fine (just quietly the fish spa was pretty awesome, ticklish but awesome!!) but the woman who did my back and neck massage may have killed me...

I normally go to a fabulous Masseuse by the name of Nea, a skinny tall and stupidly strong woman from Nurture Studio in New Farm, She hurts me. But in a good way. She swears at me, but in a good way. She cups my back so it looks like I've been abused by someone holding cement tennis balls, but in a good way.

This woman hurt me, not in the ''nea swore at me and pummeled my back but feck it felt good' kind of way. She hurt me in the 'wholy f*&k shit balls whore my back is not a piece of meat and your hand is not a knife' kind of way.

I was squirming and making noises and even a few times said 'STOP you are hurting me..'

But in the end I had to get up off the table and walk away!

Being the idiot that I am I still offered to pay her half the fee we had agreed on but she kept yelling, 'Miss you lay down, miss no you walk away ' so I said 'YOU HURT ME and I am kind enough to be offering you some money, if you do not take it now I will walk away'. Her response? 'miss you sit down I fix you miss'

So I walked away...

And now my back is so sore, no not sore, bruised. I am on a 14 hr flight tonight and my back is so sore I can even put my back pack on.. this is going to be one hell of a flight.

Merrijig – A regular Hollywood location

So I watched The Man From Snowy river and I’m not sure if I liked it.. The story is cute I guess, but for me the only real appeal was that it was filmed in Merrijig using locals as extras and utilising the fabulous horsemanship the town embodies.

Speaking of the locals, they do love to have a chat about the time the ‘movie people’ came to town. If you manage to get one started they will tell you all about their 15 minutes of fame, the horses that were used, the onset scandals and just about any other little piece of gossip they know!

The story line may have left a lot to be desired but the scenery and horsemanship displayed throughout the film was incredible and inspired me to go on a horse trail.

Laura and Christian from Hidden Trails (www.hiddentrails.com.au/riding) came highly recommended through someone at work so I found myself a riding buddy (thanks Maggz!!) and booked us in.

The day was incredible. The weather had been less than favourable the week prior and that morning we woke up to clear blue skies! Lucky US!!!

Laura and Christian are a fantastic couple. New to the area they have both been involved with horses for a long time and have only recently decided to fire up their own trail rides company. They offer all types of rides, from 2 hr trails to week long trips out into Ned Kelly Country!

Our ride was awesome. Our horses were gorgeous and very well behaved. We did a simpler ride as neither Maggz or I had ridden in quite some time but I think next time will definitely call for a trickier ride! All the same it was fantastic! We had a moment where we crossed a stream and Maggz’s horse lost balance but recovered VERY nicely!

After the ride we had a fabulous little morning tea with

Tim Tams and tea! YUM

All in all it was a perfect day, followed by a BBQ in the spring sun at Will and Maggz place, thats two things in one day.

BOOOYA!!

Things to do...

My 5 months stint in the Victorian High Country was coming to an end at it was high time I got into tourist mode. 5 months of work, 4am treks home through the valley from Changue Road with Sean and Team Sammy, drunken day trips to Mt Buller with Kazz and Mon, cook ups will Will and Maggz, golf and puzzle solving with Fi, late nights drinking pinot noir with Sylvain and Michael and many trips into Melbourne to see Allan left me little time to explore the local area.

With my spare time I got educated. Yep.

I learnt to ski, I learnt to drink red wine, continued to learn to drive and learnt to use crutches for the first time on the snow (but thats a story for another time!).

Excuses aside one week before leaving I found myself cramming in to tick off my list of tourist essential ‘things to do’.

1 – Day trip through King Valley wineries and Millawa cheese

2 – BBQ in the spring sun

3 – Watch ‘The Man from Snowy River’’ and ‘Ned Kelly’.

4 – Go for a horsey ride a’la Man from snowy river

5 – Have a steak at the Hunt Club

So stay tuned, keep an eye out and open your ear holes coz there will be a few stories to follow

xx

Flight ME5FNR to Kuala Lumpur now boarding...

My suitcase is a nightmare. It is currently sitting in the holding cabin of this plane and I’m quite certain that if the customs officials were to find reason to open it they would be amused to see what is inside.

There is sanitiser gel, berocca, 3 types of mosquito repellent and anti-diarrhoea tablets sitting alongside my anti-histamines (for my allergy to the cold) , heat packs and cough lollies. They’d find singlets and shorts, thongs (jandals, pluggers..) and a hat, sitting atop 3 beanies, 3 pairs of gloves, two scarves, a neck warmer and a pair of legwarmers. Next to the bathers and beach appropriate onsey there is a pair of ironed black working pants and a black vest. In the outer section of my suitcase they will find ‘the folder’, full of the paper bits and pieces important enough to take this trip with me, but not essential enough to relax in the comfort of my passport wallet. My resume is in this folder, refreshed, translated and ready to impress. If they searched deeper they would find ‘old faithful’, my Lonely Planet - Europe on a Shoestring, also known as the Bible, a book that I long ago realised was more a friend than a written publication. Old Faithful is still an adolescent at a mere 3 years old but next to the younger and much less used (at this moment in time anyway) ‘Lonely planet – Malaysia, Singapore and Borneo’ she looks tired and worn. Together they represent two vastly different parts of the world, both interesting and captivating, and both pulling on my backpack straps to keep me in their time zone.

If someone were to ask me right now what my plans are for the next few months my answer would be simple. Look in my suitcase. Here they would find indecision in its most unashamed form. Packed for both the heat and the cold, the poverty stricken nations and the abundant nations, the working holiday and the backpacking holiday, the owner of this suitcase clearly has a few ideas where it would like to be and where it would like to go. It is ready for any eventuality and open to every opportunity, but right now all she can think about is lazing on the beach in Penang, sipping on a coconut and getting a massage, and what flavoured Cornish pasty to get at London’s Kings Cross station.

Three words LOW. COST. CARRIER

Three words – Low. Cost. Carrier.

This has been my first experience with Air Asia and I am certain it will not be the last. So we had a 3 hr flight delay, so 40 peoples luggage was left at the Sunny coast airport, so I missed my connection to Penang and had to wait hours for a transit flight.. I could join the hoards of pissed off travellers, the ones threatening to sue, bitching and moaning that they have never had such a bad flight experience in their lives. But seriously people, 3 words; Low Cost Carrier.

What the hell do you expect when you pay less than $250 for a flight that would cost over $500 with any other airline?

And seriously its not that bad, I actually thought the whole thing was quite funny. Watching the check-in staff as they tried to hide the fact that it wasn’t a problem with documentation it was actually a problem with the plane itself. A fact the pilot decided to share with us 5 minutes after boarding, ten minutes before telling us we had to wait for another hour on the tarmac as the problem had not, it seems, yet been resolved. Shit.

Eavesdropping on the 18 yr old girls who were clearly on their first trip overseas stressing over whether to let their parents know about the delay, “Mum did say to call if there were any problems..” Been there.

Listening to the resounding sigh of relief turn to uncertainty as the overhead speaker lady informed us it was now safe (yes she used the word safe) to board the plane.

Joining in the laughter as the captain announced we were ready for take off and locked all the toilets to the shock of a woman in the middle of doing her lady business. Her shriek followed by the laughter of the entire cabin crew was enough to keep me relaxed!

Kuala Lumpur here we come!